Challenging Society's Norms

I love how children come into our world in a completely neutral state, with no judgements or expectations of behaviour.  And here is a great example.

Esmé and I were sitting in Subway.  It happened to be the one next to the police station so several times police officers would come in and pick up some lunch.  Every time Esmé saw them she would shout out, "Look Mommy, a police man!"  Or "Look Mommy, a police woman!" And every time the officer would give a smile, or chat a little to her.

Then...

A man walked in who was overweight.  And so, in following suit, she shouted out, "Look Mommy, that man is fa..." and I did my best, oh I tried so hard, to shush her as fast as I could while giving her the huge eyes and furrowed brow of 'you-better-quit-talking-if-you-know-what's-good-for-you'.

But it was too late.  It was out of her mouth for all to hear.

The unfortunate man did not turn around. And all I could do was hope that he was too busy deciding between mustard or mayo to hear the little girl in the booth behind him.

Meanwhile, that little girl looked at me with confusion wrapped in innocence and asked, "Why did you tell me to shhh?"
"Well, because we don't say things like that to people."
"Why?"
"Umm, well, I guess because maybe he doesn't want to be fat.  And when someone says that he's fat, then he might feel bad."
"But why doesn't he want to be fat?  Why would he feel bad about that?"
"That's a good question.  I'm not really sure."

I could have gone into societal expectations and norms and images of beauty which are engrained in our brains from, well, I guess from the time we are three.  But that is a lesson that I don't want to teach. I want my girl to love people for being people, and to love herself for being herself for as long as possible.  And through her non-judgemental, innocent mind, she can begin to peel away all my judgements that I didn't even realize were there, and maybe I can also love people just for being people.

Epilogue:
At dinner a few nights ago Esmé proclaimed, "I'm going to eat a lot because I want to be fat!"
I said, "Oh, and why do you want to be fat?"
"Because I just like it."

And there you have it.  Still free to decide for herself what she likes, before everyone else decides for her.